Peek-A-Boo!

This is the best picture from the ultrasound. It was the very first one that was taken and before she started playing peek-a-boo. You can see her arm beside her head and she was sucking on her lip--kind of like her cousin Will.
Throughout the ultrasound, which lasted about 20 minutes, Addison kept her hand over at least part of her face. It was like she was playing peek-a-boo.
This pictures looks like she is smiling at us while playing peek-a-boo. The nurse commented on her "full checks"--she definitely gets those from mommy.
I think she gets the big feet from her daddy. She had her foot up over her hand which was over her face at one point during the ultrasound.

These pictures are from the 4-d ultrasound which we had yesterday morning. It was a wonderful experience although Addison was a little camera shy. She started with one hand up on her forehead and the more the technician poked and moved her, the farther down that hand came. Eventually she covered her whole face with her tiny hand and foot. It was quite entertaining to watch. Even though we didn't get the best pictures, it was amazing to see her little face, hands, and feet and you could even see the 4 chambers of her heart beating away. I can't wait to cover every inch of her in kisses. It was also nice to find out how she is positioned. She is head down down with her face turned towards my left hip bone. Her bottom is under the right side of my ribs and her feet are kicking the left side of my ribs. Kicking the ribs is new this week. Everything looks good although this ultrasound is more for fun than for diagnostic purposes. The technician assured us that she didn't see anything to cause concern. I saw my doctor after the ultrasound and got a good report. Addison is measuring just right. Now I will start going to the doctor every two weeks until week 36. Up until now I have gone every four weeks. Hard to believe her due date is 9 weeks away.

The nursery has been completely painted and now we are in the process of cleaning the carpet. I cleaned it once last night and again this morning. I'll probably do it one more time before we bring the furniture in. We are going to the lake this weekend to get two pieces of her furniture. I'm hoping the crib will be in today or tomorrow, but I haven't heard anything yet. I'll post pictures soon.
Rebecca

As You Requested

Several of you who I don't get to see too often asked me to post a "preggie" picture. So here it is. This was taken a week ago and I feel about twice as big this week. I have had lots of people tell me I don't look 30 weeks pregnant, but at the end of most days I'm feeling that I'm even farther along. But I can't complain. I have felt great during this pregnancy. I've kept up my routine of walking an hour at least 6 days a week. I'm really going to miss my morning walks when I have to go back to work next week. Wayne will just have to start walking with me in the evenings.

Our Journey to Addison-Part 3

After a couple of unsuccessful IUI attempts with the combination of injectable medicines, we took a little break from fertility treatments. The treatments had a big impact on us physically, mentally, emotionally, as well as financially. There was some positive impact--I have definitely grown spiritually through all of this. My trust and faith in the Lord has been stretched and I know that He has been with us throughout this experience. It has also had a positive impact on our marriage. That hasn't always been true because we have gone through some rough times in our marriage. But looking back now, I see we are much closer as a couple than we were before facing this challenge.

Part of the reason we took a break is because in the fall of 2006, I had a sinus infection that hung around from August to December. I was on antibiotics at least once a month for that period and finally decided it was time for sinus surgery in December. That came and went and then it was back to fertility treatments. On our first return visit, Dr. Honea expressed concern that we had fewer options and needed to consider more extensive treatments. For the first time she mentioned in-vitro fertilization (IVF). She said it would give us a much higher chance of achieving a pregnancy given the change in Wayne's fertility after the cancer, but the cost was something we definitely had to consider. She agreed to do one more round of the injectable combination with IUI and then we would have to make the decision about IVF. After the appointment, we spent a lot of time talking about whether IVF was the right option for us. Unfortunately the IUI didn't work and we were faced with the decision to stop treatments and pursue adoption or try IVF. We decided to take a few months to pray about it and come to a decision we were both comfortable with. After talking and praying, we both felt we would regret not giving IVF a try. So in September 2007, we met with Dr. Honea to talk about IVF. We found out that we would both have to go through more tests and would have to meet certain criteria to be accepted into the IVF program. So after tests and more tests, we were accepted into the IVF program.

Once accepted into the program, I spent a lot of time working with the IVF nurse deciding on the best timing for us. Then there we lots of hard decisions to make. When you undergo IVF, there are lots of options as far as what will happen to any fertilized eggs that are not implanted. This is probably what I struggled with the most throughout this process. We decided to cryopreserve (freeze) any remaining eggs for now for use later, but ultimately we would still have to decide what would happen if we didn't use the eggs. To me they weren't just eggs, they were our babies so I really struggled with this. We also had to decide if the "shared risk" option was best for us. Doing "shared risk" means that you pay a large lump sum before treatment begins and you have 2 rounds of IVF in order to achieve a pregnancy. If you don't get pregnant after those 2 rounds, then you get about half of the money back to pursue other options (adoption). But the risk for the patient is if you get pregnant the first round, they keep all the money you paid up front. The other option was just to pay for each round as we went. We decided to go with the shared risk option. So after signing lots of paperwork and meeting with the IVF nurse for about an hour talking about the treatment, I left the office with a page full of prescriptions and my IVF calendar.

The process starts with a month of birth control pills to "turn off" your hormones so the medication can take over. This was late October/early November 2007. After that month, I started doing 2 injections every night for a couple of weeks. I would go in weekly for labs and ultrasounds and the medicine was adjusted according to the results. Once the doctor determined I had enough mature eggs, I was scheduled for the egg retrieval. This is done through ultrasound and a needle to "aspirate" the eggs. It was on January 10th. The "magic" then happens in a lab where the eggs are fertilized and hopefully they will continue to develop. We got a call each morning for the next 4 days updating us on our little eggs. Unfortunately, I only had 6 mature eggs to start with so we were "kicked out" of the shared risk program. Part of their criteria is that you have 8 mature eggs to start. So this was our first disappointment. After 5 days of waiting, the eggs are then returned to me. This happened on January 14th. This was a very "out of body" experience for me. It's done in an operating room with my doctor, nurse, and Wayne there to hold my hand. We were able to watch the procedure on an ultrasound and saw our two little eggs in their new home. Unfortunately only 2 of the 6 eggs that were fertilizined continued to develop. And those 2 eggs were considered "class b" eggs meaning they hadn't grown as rapidly as they should have--not a good prognostic indicator. The doctor explained that we had a very slim change of having twins and only about a 25% chance of getting pregnant at all--not the news I was hoping for. After the eggs were transferred, the doctor, nurse, Wayne, and I all joined hands in the operating room and prayed for our babies to be. It was great to have a Christian doctor who asked to pray with us. I was so crushed with the news that our chances were only about 25 % that I cried in the recovery room and cried on the way home and cried on and off all day at home while my sweet mom took care of me throughout the day. She stayed with me for 2 days to make sure I moved around as little as possible. So I spent the next 2 days flat on my back with my feet propped up. There was nothing else to do except return to life. I went back to work and continued on with life like nothing had changed. Then about 5 days before my scheduled pregnancy test, I got the flu. I ran a fever for 6 days and the only time I left the house during that period was to go to the doctor of January 24th for the pregnancy test. I was so convinced I wasn't pregnant, that I wasn't even anxious while waiting for the nurse to call. This had become my protection mechanism throughout my treatments. If I just assumed I wasn't pregnant and didn't get my hopes up, then it was easier to get the news that the test was negative. Much to my dismay, she called around 11:00 to tell me the test was positive and my HCG level looked really good. She had to tell me twice before it really sunk in. I was finally pregnant!!!!

I had dreamed about how I would tell Wayne for so long. In the excitement and misery of the flu, I ended up just calling him at work and telling him. He was the first to hear followed by my parents and his parents. I was excited, but very anxious about how things would progress. I was super cautious about everything I did and ate. I went every week for bloodwork to make sure my hormone levels were rising and for an ultrasound. It was amazing to see her little heartbeat at about six weeks. Then once the doctor saw movement on the ultrasound around 10 weeks, I was sent to my OB. And everything has gone so well since then! I love being pregnant and have felt great. I'm just praying that continues!!!

Just in the IVF part of this journey, it's clear to me that God was working throughout the situation. Although we were kicked out of "shared risk", we got pregnant on the first attempt and didn't need the safety net of the second attempt. After struggling so much with what to do with the remaining fertilized eggs, it turned out God made that decision for us. There were no extra eggs. And though we were told we only had about a 25% chance of getting pregnant, I have a little girl inside of me kicking around right now showing that my God is much bigger than 25 % odds. And to tie it all together, the amount of money Wayne received from a cancer policy after his diagnosis was almost exactly what the IVF cost us. I don't think that was a coincidence. We serve a wonderful, loving God.


I can't begin to express my thanks to those of you who have been our support during this process. Infertility is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but at the same time I wouldn't change our journey for anything. Do I wish I had a baby six years ago? Of course. But I know God's timing is perfect for us. This six years has been such a time of growth for us. My relationship with the two most important people in my life--the Lord and my husband--are stronger than ever. And I wouldn't exchange that for anything. And now that Addison will be here in less than 10 weeks, it's hard to believe that these six years have passed so quickly. Infertility is never easy, but with the support of so many wonderful family members and friends, it was definitely more bearable. I know there have been so many people praying for us throughout this process and that is what has carried us. It can't wait for all of you to meet our little Addison--truly a miracle baby.

Our Journey to Addison--Part 2

Wayne went to see the urologist on a Wednesday in March 2005. Dr. Honea had explained that some men have an issue with veins that causes issues with fertility and that is the worst we were expecting. Since it was just supposed to be an ordinary visit and I had missed a good bit of work due to the many appointments I had, I didn't go to the doctor with Wayne. I remember him calling me as he was leaving the doctor's office late in the afternoon. He explained that when they did an ultrasound, the technician saw a couple of unusual spots. The doctor said there was a chance it was caused by an infection, but the more likely explanation was cancer. Never in a million years was that what I was expecting to hear. The doctor put Wayne on a strong antibiotic hoping that it was just an infection and told him to come back the next week. That was a terribly long week, but we are truly blessed by wonderful family and friends who lifted us up both physically when we needed it as well as lifting us up in prayer.

Of course I was there for the next appointment. Unfortunately the spots had not changed whatsoever. So, the doctor explained that the likelihood of these spots being cancerous was very high. He explained the process of surgery and follow-up treatments if they were needed. He explained that a biopsy was not an option because it would likely cause the spread of cells in the spot which could expose other body parts to the cancerous cells. He also explained that possible side effects could include total loss of fertility. So, he strongly urged us to consider using the cryopreservation service offered by our fertility program before the surgery. This was a suggestion we followed.

Wayne's surgery was scheduled for April 15th--the 10 year anniversary from our first date. Thankfully the surgery went very well. I was blessed to have a waiting room full of family and friends there to keep my mind occupied during the surgery. The doctor told me it would take a few days to get the pathology report back, but he definitely felt it was cancer and he thought they were able to take all of it out. After the pathology report came back, we found out it was cancer, but it was the slowest growing form of cancer found in that location and it had not spread into the lymphatic system. The doctor still recommended 4 weeks of daily radiation treatments, but felt Wayne's outcome would be very good. So, every day for 4 weeks, Wayne left work early and went to Brookwood for his radiation treatment. He took some heavy duty nausea medication daily which helped to prevent nausea, but his appetite was terrible and he was tired all the time. He was seen by the urologist and oncologist weekly during that summer. At the end of summer, he was given the "all clear"--no signs of cancer remaining. He continued to see the urologist and oncologist monthly for a few months and still continues to see them every six months even now. He is over 3 years past his initial diagnosis and chances of recurrence now a very slim. Praise God!!! This is just another example of God's hand working through our infertility. Wayne had no signs of the cancer when it was diagnosed and this type of cancer is usually diagnosed only after it has spread to another organ or system. At that point, the outcome is not as positive. So, if we hadn't been struggling with infertility, chances are Wayne's cancer would not have been diagnosed so early and he may not be the health man I'm married to now.

Through the process of trying to make sense of Wayne's cancer, I convinced myself that his early diagnosis was the reason we were having trouble getting pregnant. So I was convinced that as soon as we were able to try again, I would get pregnant. We had to wait 6 months after Wayne's last radiation treatment to get started back with the fertility treatments. Although his fertility was affected somewhat by the surgery and radiation, we still had the possibility of getting pregnant. It was just going to be a little more challenging. I was put on a new combination of oral medications and we tried IUI a couple more times. This just lead to another few months of disappointment and no baby. We met with the doctor again who suggested trying another combination of medications, but this time one of the medications would be injectable. This meant giving myself a shot in the stomach each evening for about a week every month. Before this new treatment plan could be approved, I had to demonstrate to the nurse that I could give myself a shot. So, I was given instructions on how to do it and then I had to give myself a shot of sterile water before I could leave the office with the prescription. I was able to do it despite my shaking hands and upset stomach. I left the office with the prescription for the injectables in hand and cried all the way to the specialty pharmacy to have it filled.

This was just the first in a long series of injectable medicines. Thankfully God gave me the strength to give myself the shots when I needed them. I also have a wonderful mother who was able to give me the hip shots that I wasn't able to reach myself. I hate to even think of the number of needles I have stuck into myself over the past 3 years. I know I filled up 3 sharps containers. But every single stick was worth it now that we have our little Addison on the way.

Nursery update: Our schedule has been very busy over the past couple weeks, so the nursery isn't quite as far along as I had hoped it would be by now. Wayne is determined to make it perfect, so every uneven surface has been smoothed and sanded before it is painted. I'm excited to report that he spent the day today painting and has now finished up the priming and painting for the walls. He's cleaning up the paint rollers now. All that is left should be the trim if those 2 coats of paint covered up that awful green sponge-painting.

We go Wednesday for the 4-D ultrasound and my next appointment with the OB. I'll try to post pictures on Wednesday.

Wednesday is also a big day for one of my co-workers, Daphne. She is in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia and his court date is scheduled for Wednesday. Please pray that all goes well for her and little Ben.

Until next time,
Rebecca

Our Journey to Addison--Part 1

Before the summer gets away and I have no spare time left, I wanted to start sharing our infertility story. It's a rather lengthy story that I will condense as much as possible, but it will take a while to share 6 years. It's also a rather personal story--so this is your warning. I'll try to be as "politically correct" as possible. But I feel it's important to share our story because it is truly a story of God's faithfulness to us--a testimony that He is with us even when it may not feel that way at the moment. Looking back on our 6 year infertility journey, I can clearly see God's hand working on our behalf throughout so many situations. I hope that in some way this story will help someone who is facing their own fertility issues or even another challenging situation in life. It amazes me when I share that it took us 6 years to reach this point, so many people say "I know someone who tried for XX years" or "I've been trying to get pregnant for XX long." Infertility is much more common than you might think. We have several friends who are facing this same struggle even now. You probably know someone too.

Wayne and I got married in August 1998 between my junior and senior year in college. He knew when we got married that I wanted to put off having children for a few years because I promised my parents I would finish my graduate degree and doing so with a baby would be very hard. Since he's 8 years older than I am, he was ready to start a family, but willing to wait if that is what I wanted. So I graduated with my masters in August 2001 and then had to complete a 9 month fellowship to complete my licensing and certification process. So, in May 2002, we started trying to get pregnant. After 6 months with no luck, I mentioned it to my OB/GYN at my annual appointment and she gave me a prescription for Clomid. This is about as common as Tic Tacs I think because it seems like many people I have talked with have taken Clomid and gotten pregnant. Well for us, it worked about as well as Tic Tacs. So in May 2003, my OB/GYN referred me to the ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) Fertility group at Brookwood Hospital. Unfortunately it took 3 months to get in for an initial appointment. The day before my appointment, the office called and said the doctor I was supposed to see had a family emergency and had to leave town. However, another doctor was going to see his patients. This was truly a blessing! The doctor we ended up seeing was Kathryn Honea, a reproductive endocronologist, who was one of the first doctors in the Southeast trained in ART. She actually trained in Australia back in the early 1980's when in-vitro fertilization (IVF) was being developed. She also worked with GE to create part of the technology that is currently used for IVF. And she was the director of the IVF program for their office. Not a big deal at the time, but it turned out to be very important. And most importantly, she is a wonderful, Christian woman.

The first appointment took about 3 hours. After meeting with the doctor and developing an initial plan, Wayne and I became human pin cushions. We were given physicals and tested for every possible infectious disease known to man. Needless to say I overcame my fear of needles very quickly (not so for Wayne although he is getting better). Any time I was doing a "medicated" cycle, I would go to the doctor at least once a week for labs. After a month of monitoring my hormone levels weekly, I was put on Clomid again. Boy was I disappointed. We had already been down that road. But this time they tested my hormones each week while on the Clomid. Through this they learned I wasn't ovulating as "strongly" as I needed to, but the Clomid went a long way in correcting this issue. So, the next month we did our first interuterine insemination (IUI) aka "artificial insemination" along with the Clomid. I was so sure that was all it would take for us to get pregnant. Unfortunately, this was just the first of many months of disappointment. I was crushed. Looking back, those first few failed attempts were definitely the hardest. I was so sure "this was the month" and I always got the phone call that my pregnancy test was negative. I was thankful to have supportive friends (especially Susan) who would pick up my pieces and help me put myself back together. After several months of Clomid and IUI, it was time for more heavy duty drugs.

About this time, Dr. Honea recommended Wayne see a urologist to make sure everything was okay with his part of this process. This was late 2004/early 2005. Of course being a guy, he put it off for a while but finally went in March 2005. That doctor's appointment would not only change our fertility plans, but would also change our lives.

Until the next time . . .
Rebecca

Boys Oh Boys!!!

Wayne and I had the pleasure of keeping our two oldest nephews, Will (age 9) and Josh (age 7) from Sunday morning to Tuesday evening. It was a wonderful time we enjoyed so much. I was definitely out-numbered 3 to 1 since my husband turns into a little boy when the others are around. It was wonderful to see them together. Sunday afternoon we played board games for about 4 hours and of course there was plenty of Play Station time too. On Monday evening after dinner, the boys played hide n seek while I sat in the swing and watched. It was quite entertaining. Will wins for the most creative hiding places--under Wayne's truck and inside the trash can which happened to be the base for the game. I enjoyed getting to "play mom" for those 3 days--cooking dinner, fixing "boo-boos" (scrapped up ankles are part of hide n seek), tucking them in at night. And it was great to see Wayne interacting with the boys and doing his part to take care of them. I got a sneak peek of things to come when I had to get the boys to mom's by about 6:45 Tuesday morning so I could go to school for registration. Fortunately, I was able to wake them up, hand them their clothes, and let them get ready on their own. That won't happen with Addison. :-) My morning routine will definitely take longer once she arrives, but I am definitely looking forward to it. I treasure the time I get to spend with "my boys", but have to admit in years past it has been hard to see them go after they spend a few days with us. Many tears have been shed after dropping the boys off with their mom and dad. But this year is definitely different. I'll admit I have missed them today, but know that I will get to "play mommy" for real in just 12 short weeks.

On the baby front--Wayne has gotten the ceiling of the nursery painted and has done all the prep work for painting. He took the last few days off from the nursery so he could spend time with the boys. The crib should be on a truck now on the way to the store, so hopefully we will have it within a week. I went to the doctor for a check-up last Wednesday and everything looks good. I had my glucose tolerance screening and failed it. So, I went back today for the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. For those of you not familiar with this test, I had to fast starting at midnight and continued until my appointment. When I got there, the nurse tested my blood sugar and it was good. Then I had to drink an 8 ounce bottle of an orange flavored drink that was pure sugar. Then the waiting started. Every hour for 3 hours, I had my finger pricked to check my blood sugar. My first stick was borderline, but within the normal limits. The second time, my sugar was too high. By the third stick, it was back to normal. So, officially I passed, but I was encouraged to watch my sugar/carbohydrate intake and continue to exercise. After not having anything to eat for over 12 hours, I had a doozy of a headache when I left. Then after I ate, I felt really nauseous. So, I took Wayne's advice and took it easy the rest of the day. I'm still feeling a little "icky", but hope that will ease up with some time soon. I go back to the doctor on July 30th for another checkup and for my 4-D ultrasound.

Who Knew???

This is the bedding we will use in Addison's room. It finally came in on Thursday. It's a sage and cream toile pattern with some sage and cream gingham as accents as well as cream colored chenille on the back of the quilt and on the bumpers.
This is Addison's crib. I ordered it a week ago and hope to have it here in 5 weeks or less. It looks white in this picture, but it is actually antique white. Hopefully it will go well with the other furniture.

Who knew that registering for baby gear could be so overwhelming? Wayne and I went after work today and registered at Babies R Us. I've been in that store twice since I've been pregnant and both times I left there feeling very overwhelmed. Who knew there were so many things out there for babies? Of course this "Type A" personality didn't just wander in and register for the cute things she wanted. I have read 2 books about baby products--"The Consumer's Report Guide Book to Babies" and "Baby Bargains". I thought the Consumer's Report book was great until I read Baby Bargains. Thanks Cori for the tip. Not only does it rank items based on safety, user-friendliness, etc but it also takes into account feedback from parents who actually use the stuff. Who knew two infant carseats made by the same company could vary so much? One version passed every crash test and the other one failed every crash test. And the one that failed was call the "Safe Seat". Yikes! So hopefully we have registered for the safest, most useful items we will need. Of course I'm sure I will adjust the registry some. I just looked at it online and it really doesn't look like that many items. So why did it take us 2 1/2 hours to register??? Wayne was a trooper and seemed to actually enjoy it. Of course he was in charge of the scan gun. :-) I was surprised to see that there was only one other couple there registering together. There were lots of women by themselves or with their friends, sisters, or moms. I'm thankful that Wayne actually wanted to go register with me. He's going to be a great daddy! You can check out the registry at babiesrus.com.

Addison continues to be very active. However, she is already playing games with her daddy. Often when I lay down and she starts moving around, I'll call Wayne in to see/feel her moving. As soon as he gets close or puts his hand on my stomach, she stops moving. It's so funny (at least to me)!!! It's been going on for a couple of weeks now. I almost woke him up about 1:00 this morning because she was doing some nighttime acrobats. When I told him about it this morning, he said he wished I would have woken him up which really suprised me. He's anxious to see it himself.

It's been a busy week. I think Wayne and I have decided our care-free days of "vegging out" in front of the TV in the evening are already over. We spent most of last week getting ready to have new carpet laid and then spent the weekend putting everything back in its place. We are expecting the new hardwoods to be laid on Thursday. Thankfully there isn't much furniture to move for that part. Our air conditioner also died last week. One of Wayne's uncles is a heating and air man so he came up as soon as he heard we were without air. Thanks Uncle Red! Unfortunately several parts were dead, so we had a repairman out on Friday and thankfully he fixed it. Being pregnant in the summer hasn't been too bad until we slept an evening without air. I didn't even care that I was sleeping in a spaghetti-strap nightie with my preggie belly sticking out with the windows of our bedroom wide open. And of course our bedroom is on the front of the house so I had a good view of the people driving by and I'm sure they had an interesting view too. But I would do anything to stay cool! :-)

Hope everyone has a fun and safe 4th of July!!!

Rebecca