After a couple of unsuccessful IUI attempts with the combination of injectable medicines, we took a little break from fertility treatments. The treatments had a big impact on us physically, mentally, emotionally, as well as financially. There was some positive impact--I have definitely grown spiritually through all of this. My trust and faith in the Lord has been stretched and I know that He has been with us throughout this experience. It has also had a positive impact on our marriage. That hasn't always been true because we have gone through some rough times in our marriage. But looking back now, I see we are much closer as a couple than we were before facing this challenge.
Part of the reason we took a break is because in the fall of 2006, I had a sinus infection that hung around from August to December. I was on antibiotics at least once a month for that period and finally decided it was time for sinus surgery in December. That came and went and then it was back to fertility treatments. On our first return visit, Dr. Honea expressed concern that we had fewer options and needed to consider more extensive treatments. For the first time she mentioned in-vitro fertilization (IVF). She said it would give us a much higher chance of achieving a pregnancy given the change in Wayne's fertility after the cancer, but the cost was something we definitely had to consider. She agreed to do one more round of the injectable combination with IUI and then we would have to make the decision about IVF. After the appointment, we spent a lot of time talking about whether IVF was the right option for us. Unfortunately the IUI didn't work and we were faced with the decision to stop treatments and pursue adoption or try IVF. We decided to take a few months to pray about it and come to a decision we were both comfortable with. After talking and praying, we both felt we would regret not giving IVF a try. So in September 2007, we met with Dr. Honea to talk about IVF. We found out that we would both have to go through more tests and would have to meet certain criteria to be accepted into the IVF program. So after tests and more tests, we were accepted into the IVF program.
Once accepted into the program, I spent a lot of time working with the IVF nurse deciding on the best timing for us. Then there we lots of hard decisions to make. When you undergo IVF, there are lots of options as far as what will happen to any fertilized eggs that are not implanted. This is probably what I struggled with the most throughout this process. We decided to cryopreserve (freeze) any remaining eggs for now for use later, but ultimately we would still have to decide what would happen if we didn't use the eggs. To me they weren't just eggs, they were our babies so I really struggled with this. We also had to decide if the "shared risk" option was best for us. Doing "shared risk" means that you pay a large lump sum before treatment begins and you have 2 rounds of IVF in order to achieve a pregnancy. If you don't get pregnant after those 2 rounds, then you get about half of the money back to pursue other options (adoption). But the risk for the patient is if you get pregnant the first round, they keep all the money you paid up front. The other option was just to pay for each round as we went. We decided to go with the shared risk option. So after signing lots of paperwork and meeting with the IVF nurse for about an hour talking about the treatment, I left the office with a page full of prescriptions and my IVF calendar.
The process starts with a month of birth control pills to "turn off" your hormones so the medication can take over. This was late October/early November 2007. After that month, I started doing 2 injections every night for a couple of weeks. I would go in weekly for labs and ultrasounds and the medicine was adjusted according to the results. Once the doctor determined I had enough mature eggs, I was scheduled for the egg retrieval. This is done through ultrasound and a needle to "aspirate" the eggs. It was on January 10th. The "magic" then happens in a lab where the eggs are fertilized and hopefully they will continue to develop. We got a call each morning for the next 4 days updating us on our little eggs. Unfortunately, I only had 6 mature eggs to start with so we were "kicked out" of the shared risk program. Part of their criteria is that you have 8 mature eggs to start. So this was our first disappointment. After 5 days of waiting, the eggs are then returned to me. This happened on January 14th. This was a very "out of body" experience for me. It's done in an operating room with my doctor, nurse, and Wayne there to hold my hand. We were able to watch the procedure on an ultrasound and saw our two little eggs in their new home. Unfortunately only 2 of the 6 eggs that were fertilizined continued to develop. And those 2 eggs were considered "class b" eggs meaning they hadn't grown as rapidly as they should have--not a good prognostic indicator. The doctor explained that we had a very slim change of having twins and only about a 25% chance of getting pregnant at all--not the news I was hoping for. After the eggs were transferred, the doctor, nurse, Wayne, and I all joined hands in the operating room and prayed for our babies to be. It was great to have a Christian doctor who asked to pray with us. I was so crushed with the news that our chances were only about 25 % that I cried in the recovery room and cried on the way home and cried on and off all day at home while my sweet mom took care of me throughout the day. She stayed with me for 2 days to make sure I moved around as little as possible. So I spent the next 2 days flat on my back with my feet propped up. There was nothing else to do except return to life. I went back to work and continued on with life like nothing had changed. Then about 5 days before my scheduled pregnancy test, I got the flu. I ran a fever for 6 days and the only time I left the house during that period was to go to the doctor of January 24th for the pregnancy test. I was so convinced I wasn't pregnant, that I wasn't even anxious while waiting for the nurse to call. This had become my protection mechanism throughout my treatments. If I just assumed I wasn't pregnant and didn't get my hopes up, then it was easier to get the news that the test was negative. Much to my dismay, she called around 11:00 to tell me the test was positive and my HCG level looked really good. She had to tell me twice before it really sunk in. I was finally pregnant!!!!
I had dreamed about how I would tell Wayne for so long. In the excitement and misery of the flu, I ended up just calling him at work and telling him. He was the first to hear followed by my parents and his parents. I was excited, but very anxious about how things would progress. I was super cautious about everything I did and ate. I went every week for bloodwork to make sure my hormone levels were rising and for an ultrasound. It was amazing to see her little heartbeat at about six weeks. Then once the doctor saw movement on the ultrasound around 10 weeks, I was sent to my OB. And everything has gone so well since then! I love being pregnant and have felt great. I'm just praying that continues!!!
Just in the IVF part of this journey, it's clear to me that God was working throughout the situation. Although we were kicked out of "shared risk", we got pregnant on the first attempt and didn't need the safety net of the second attempt. After struggling so much with what to do with the remaining fertilized eggs, it turned out God made that decision for us. There were no extra eggs. And though we were told we only had about a 25% chance of getting pregnant, I have a little girl inside of me kicking around right now showing that my God is much bigger than 25 % odds. And to tie it all together, the amount of money Wayne received from a cancer policy after his diagnosis was almost exactly what the IVF cost us. I don't think that was a coincidence. We serve a wonderful, loving God.
I can't begin to express my thanks to those of you who have been our support during this process. Infertility is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but at the same time I wouldn't change our journey for anything. Do I wish I had a baby six years ago? Of course. But I know God's timing is perfect for us. This six years has been such a time of growth for us. My relationship with the two most important people in my life--the Lord and my husband--are stronger than ever. And I wouldn't exchange that for anything. And now that Addison will be here in less than 10 weeks, it's hard to believe that these six years have passed so quickly. Infertility is never easy, but with the support of so many wonderful family members and friends, it was definitely more bearable. I know there have been so many people praying for us throughout this process and that is what has carried us. It can't wait for all of you to meet our little Addison--truly a miracle baby.
Part of the reason we took a break is because in the fall of 2006, I had a sinus infection that hung around from August to December. I was on antibiotics at least once a month for that period and finally decided it was time for sinus surgery in December. That came and went and then it was back to fertility treatments. On our first return visit, Dr. Honea expressed concern that we had fewer options and needed to consider more extensive treatments. For the first time she mentioned in-vitro fertilization (IVF). She said it would give us a much higher chance of achieving a pregnancy given the change in Wayne's fertility after the cancer, but the cost was something we definitely had to consider. She agreed to do one more round of the injectable combination with IUI and then we would have to make the decision about IVF. After the appointment, we spent a lot of time talking about whether IVF was the right option for us. Unfortunately the IUI didn't work and we were faced with the decision to stop treatments and pursue adoption or try IVF. We decided to take a few months to pray about it and come to a decision we were both comfortable with. After talking and praying, we both felt we would regret not giving IVF a try. So in September 2007, we met with Dr. Honea to talk about IVF. We found out that we would both have to go through more tests and would have to meet certain criteria to be accepted into the IVF program. So after tests and more tests, we were accepted into the IVF program.
Once accepted into the program, I spent a lot of time working with the IVF nurse deciding on the best timing for us. Then there we lots of hard decisions to make. When you undergo IVF, there are lots of options as far as what will happen to any fertilized eggs that are not implanted. This is probably what I struggled with the most throughout this process. We decided to cryopreserve (freeze) any remaining eggs for now for use later, but ultimately we would still have to decide what would happen if we didn't use the eggs. To me they weren't just eggs, they were our babies so I really struggled with this. We also had to decide if the "shared risk" option was best for us. Doing "shared risk" means that you pay a large lump sum before treatment begins and you have 2 rounds of IVF in order to achieve a pregnancy. If you don't get pregnant after those 2 rounds, then you get about half of the money back to pursue other options (adoption). But the risk for the patient is if you get pregnant the first round, they keep all the money you paid up front. The other option was just to pay for each round as we went. We decided to go with the shared risk option. So after signing lots of paperwork and meeting with the IVF nurse for about an hour talking about the treatment, I left the office with a page full of prescriptions and my IVF calendar.
The process starts with a month of birth control pills to "turn off" your hormones so the medication can take over. This was late October/early November 2007. After that month, I started doing 2 injections every night for a couple of weeks. I would go in weekly for labs and ultrasounds and the medicine was adjusted according to the results. Once the doctor determined I had enough mature eggs, I was scheduled for the egg retrieval. This is done through ultrasound and a needle to "aspirate" the eggs. It was on January 10th. The "magic" then happens in a lab where the eggs are fertilized and hopefully they will continue to develop. We got a call each morning for the next 4 days updating us on our little eggs. Unfortunately, I only had 6 mature eggs to start with so we were "kicked out" of the shared risk program. Part of their criteria is that you have 8 mature eggs to start. So this was our first disappointment. After 5 days of waiting, the eggs are then returned to me. This happened on January 14th. This was a very "out of body" experience for me. It's done in an operating room with my doctor, nurse, and Wayne there to hold my hand. We were able to watch the procedure on an ultrasound and saw our two little eggs in their new home. Unfortunately only 2 of the 6 eggs that were fertilizined continued to develop. And those 2 eggs were considered "class b" eggs meaning they hadn't grown as rapidly as they should have--not a good prognostic indicator. The doctor explained that we had a very slim change of having twins and only about a 25% chance of getting pregnant at all--not the news I was hoping for. After the eggs were transferred, the doctor, nurse, Wayne, and I all joined hands in the operating room and prayed for our babies to be. It was great to have a Christian doctor who asked to pray with us. I was so crushed with the news that our chances were only about 25 % that I cried in the recovery room and cried on the way home and cried on and off all day at home while my sweet mom took care of me throughout the day. She stayed with me for 2 days to make sure I moved around as little as possible. So I spent the next 2 days flat on my back with my feet propped up. There was nothing else to do except return to life. I went back to work and continued on with life like nothing had changed. Then about 5 days before my scheduled pregnancy test, I got the flu. I ran a fever for 6 days and the only time I left the house during that period was to go to the doctor of January 24th for the pregnancy test. I was so convinced I wasn't pregnant, that I wasn't even anxious while waiting for the nurse to call. This had become my protection mechanism throughout my treatments. If I just assumed I wasn't pregnant and didn't get my hopes up, then it was easier to get the news that the test was negative. Much to my dismay, she called around 11:00 to tell me the test was positive and my HCG level looked really good. She had to tell me twice before it really sunk in. I was finally pregnant!!!!
I had dreamed about how I would tell Wayne for so long. In the excitement and misery of the flu, I ended up just calling him at work and telling him. He was the first to hear followed by my parents and his parents. I was excited, but very anxious about how things would progress. I was super cautious about everything I did and ate. I went every week for bloodwork to make sure my hormone levels were rising and for an ultrasound. It was amazing to see her little heartbeat at about six weeks. Then once the doctor saw movement on the ultrasound around 10 weeks, I was sent to my OB. And everything has gone so well since then! I love being pregnant and have felt great. I'm just praying that continues!!!
Just in the IVF part of this journey, it's clear to me that God was working throughout the situation. Although we were kicked out of "shared risk", we got pregnant on the first attempt and didn't need the safety net of the second attempt. After struggling so much with what to do with the remaining fertilized eggs, it turned out God made that decision for us. There were no extra eggs. And though we were told we only had about a 25% chance of getting pregnant, I have a little girl inside of me kicking around right now showing that my God is much bigger than 25 % odds. And to tie it all together, the amount of money Wayne received from a cancer policy after his diagnosis was almost exactly what the IVF cost us. I don't think that was a coincidence. We serve a wonderful, loving God.
I can't begin to express my thanks to those of you who have been our support during this process. Infertility is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but at the same time I wouldn't change our journey for anything. Do I wish I had a baby six years ago? Of course. But I know God's timing is perfect for us. This six years has been such a time of growth for us. My relationship with the two most important people in my life--the Lord and my husband--are stronger than ever. And I wouldn't exchange that for anything. And now that Addison will be here in less than 10 weeks, it's hard to believe that these six years have passed so quickly. Infertility is never easy, but with the support of so many wonderful family members and friends, it was definitely more bearable. I know there have been so many people praying for us throughout this process and that is what has carried us. It can't wait for all of you to meet our little Addison--truly a miracle baby.
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